As a 19 year old, people will tell you that they don’t expect you to have it all together but tend to continue to ask you questions about what you want to do and always have an opinion on your answer.
This is what family does but sometimes you just have to twitch a little, take a deep breath to keep you from screaming something rude (probably with not nice words) that your mother would give you “the look” for or bust out in tears because you have absolutely no clue. So you pull out the fake smile and nod like you have it all together and the words that they are saying haven’t already gone through your mind
But please hear me on this.
Someone else’s contentness on the decisions you are making about your life, should never be the equivalent to your happiness.
In other words, don’t make decisions about your life based on how others are going to react to it.
The pressure of continuing your education when you were lucky to get through the first 13 can be the most suffocating thing. Trust me. I know. Because trust me, if that’s you, there will come a point in time where you are so burnt out with school you can’t see straight. You’ll look at the past semester, ask yourself what in the world happened, and truly contemplate if this is for you.
School is NOT for everyone. No matter what your parents or grandparents or uncles and aunts push you to think. Sometimes it’s not going to be for you. Please don’t spend four years spending every bit of yourself barley getting by because you can’t dread the questions at the holiday dinner table.
We’ve been taught there’s a certain way to live. You’re born. You go to school. Get the diploma. Go back to school get the degree. Get the job. Get married. Have kids. Raise kids. Encourage kids to do same thing.
What if I don’t want to do that? What if I want to pack up my car and travel the country with no plan and see how far that gets me? What if I want to go work on the beach somewhere? What if I want to go work in the most freaking magical place on earth? What if instead of crippling to the opinions of everyone around me, I lived without a plan. Lived in the moment. Lived to see what happens next with out knowing. Taking risks. Making mistakes and memories and friends. There’s a whole world out there. You were meant to explore it. You were meant to see what it has to offer.
Maybe you do want that degree. Maybe you fell and you need a second to catch your breath. Sometimes it’s not about how hard you got hit but about how hard you come back fighting. So you failed a lot of classes. It’s not the end of the world. You can take em again. If a degree is something you really truly want, fight for it with everything in you. Don’t forget to take in the moments though. Don’t get so caught up in the next five years you don’t do anything with the year your in right now. Life’s not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. (yes I just quoted hitch and yes I would do it again)
Girls. Don’t feel like you have to have someone. Don’t feel like you have to have a plan. Don’t fret about the thought of your egg count going down as you speak or the gray hairs appearing more frequently. Find the guy that you know without a doubt is the one you want to smell his farts on a long road trip or have to shave his back during the summer. Find the guy who kisses you when your gross and your hair needs to be washed because dry shampoo isn’t gonna cut it at this point. Find the guy who makes you feel comfortable all the way to your soul while making you absolutely crazy. Find the guy who will be okay with never knowing what we are gonna have for dinner. The one who listens to you sing awfully in the car on road trips and still holds your hand. You don’t have to settle to the guy you have to debate if he likes you. You don’t have to settle for the guy who can’t seem to settle down. And until then. You dance, you sing, you work out, you binge Netflix, and take risks and love you. Life doesn’t stop when you find love it just becomes an adventure that you can only conquer together.
Just hear me on this if you don’t read anything else… One day years from now you’re probably going to wake up next to the person you love more than anything in the world and have to make breakfast for the absolute product of yalls love and just try to keep those little guys to keep their clothes on before thinking “eh do they really need pants today” and you are going to smile and think about what got you here. It’s not gonna be the choices someone made for you. It’s your choices. So go out do something crazy. Dance in a parking lot at 2 am. Drive with no destination in mind. Kiss the guy you’ve been dying to kiss. Chase your dream even if your parents and grandparents and uncles and friends think you’re absolutely crazy. If you wait for moments to be perfect or the times to be right your going to live your whole life wondering where the time went. You’re young. Make it magical.